Krimm videos. Alpha male human and primate behavior.

Bob Krimm’s video was supposed to have been broadcast in the UK during the early hours of Sunday morning March 4th. I had decided not to watch it, as it was my considered opinion, that Bob Krimm was highly unlikely to make a video which would tell me anything that I have not heard or seen before, so I was not particularly upset that the team could not get it onto our screens on time. It is not a great disaster because most of us know that there are people with infinitely more skills in the performing arts than Bob or anybody in Tri-Star Media production team and that anything that we really need to know about Bob Krimm will be sent by e-mail or displayed on the Due Diligence Toolbar. I bought an English translation of two books yesterday that everybody in “The Krimm Empire” should read if they want to make The Krimm Videos a real success.

Millions of people in this day and age consider the author of these books to be the greatest play write, director and performing artist who has ever walked on the face of this planet. When did he write the books? I am not quite sure but I do know that it was more than two thousand years ago. I am certain that we can all get some tips on presenting our own image and our teams’ work from Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey.

Homer’s main characters are alpha males and the behaviour patterns that he describes, show us that alpha males and top dogs have not changed very much in two thousand years. Bob Krimm is an alpha male. I am not posing as an expert on men and I consider anything that I have read on psycho sexual psychology totally unconvincing. I have studied industrial psychometric profiling and used the methods for recruitment, training and team building so I do feel qualified to comment on the behaviour of alpha males in the work place.

The behaviour of our primate cousins tells us a great deal about alpha males and their relationships with females or other males, which the alpha believes to be beneath him in the natural pecking order. There is only one or two percent difference between human and chimpanzee DNA so it is reasonably safe to assume that there is not very much difference between the behaviour of alpha males and females in monkey troupes and human hierarchies.

Video can capture various aspects of animal which eluded Homer. If you want to watch some brilliant videos on alpha males and their favourite team mates, do a Google Search using Key Words like Discovery Channel, Discovery Animal Planet, Monkey World or Monkey Business and watch a few. I recommend the ones produced by a husband and wife team who own a wild life sanctuary know as Monkey World. They know all their primates by name, so if you want to watch what most primates with familiar names like Bob and Andy do when they have a dispute over a bunch of bananas or an iced lolly, it might shed some light on the future of XLO.

That is one video that I will enjoy. They will make as much noise as they possibly can to get the viewers, hormones pumping. What sort of power and passion music can we expect from the Bob v Andy video? Could it be “Verdi’s Triumphal March from Aeida”, “Wagner’s Ride of The Valkyrey’s” or “Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana? Bob and Andy, will trade insults, show off their respective body mass and best anatomical features to the camera and one or the other will get the sulks or show visible signs of anger and loose supporters.

There is only one breeding troupe in “Monkey World Ape Sanctuary,” It is great viewing as they are so like humans. Other males, including aspiring alpha males (Silverback's), hang around in bachelor groups until they win a few battles and assemble a troupe of their own. When two troupes have a dispute, there is a hell of a hullabaloo. The dominant males pose, posture, gesture and whip up hormone levels to such an extent that the females and subservient males start behaving in a way that could be described as a state of tumescence. They receive some sort of exciting messages from male scent glands which are incomprehensible to Homo Sapiens. If you watch their body language it might help you to decipher some of the gestures and body language in The Krimm Videos.

There is order and discipline in a primate breeding troupe. All members know their place and exhibit behaviour which the alpha male expects from them. The message that they all understand are the order to be silent and patient. These alerts also include threats to discipline those who disobey and show any signs of having any initiative. Gorilla Bob and Bob Krimm have a lot of behavioural traits in common.

Silverback bachelors and females that the alpha regards as being of no use as breeding stock are relegated to a troupe which usually behaves like a disorganised rabble. The aspiring males and females in this echelon crave for battle or the opportunity to mate with one of the breeding troupe and propagate some really strong genes . What can I call that group? A troupe like this one could be named “Vee and The Bloggers.”

What will be the outcome of the next clash between the troupes? Bob managed to shut Vee up when things got too heated last time. Vee was letting off as much steam as a heavy locomotive going uphill! How long will that uneasy truce last? I detect rumblings from that quarter. This one doesn’t appreciate any attempt to put her down. Bob may decide that a temper tantrum would serve his needs. Alpha males enjoy an opportunity to behave like one of the Gods in Homers plays. Will he behave like Jupiter and Mars and hurl some thunderbolts at dissident members of his programs? The present clash of swords could end that way.

It could end in an other peace pact. If it does, the alphas and their deputies in each troupe will demand some spoils of war. What do you imagine an alpha male like Bob dreams of possessing? You will have to read Homer to get some clues. Here are a few ideas of my own. How about an oil painting? Would he like to grace his dining room walls with a picture of Vee’s head on a silver platter? Would he like to own a massive can of meaty morsel dog food with a label purporting to have ingredients that include mincemeat made from Leo’s (drunkonlife’s) private parts? I am sure Homer and Google will have some suggestions to inspire some great “Bob and The Bloggers” cartoonists. I might even buy a few copies if they are hand drawn and they make me laugh.

If “The Bloggers” can produce better videos than the Krimm videos, we might get some real oomph and something worth watching from the production team at Tri-star Media. My stance on the issue is “Come on Boggers.” None of us want to see Bob’s mini empire and his payment processor collapse? He has worked hard and made some really good money for his members in the past. Taunt him a bit but do not be malicious. It would be a shame to see Bob’s programs collapse or his videos and processor delegated to The Crypt of Crap.

We must challenge alpha males now and again. You will never earn any respect from one if you behave like a door mat. You know the tactics. Nip him in the heels now and again. Give him a prod in the ribs now and then. Encourage competition. Request assistance from “Stormy” or another “Cyberspace Goddess” to intercede on your behalf. Goddesses can hurl thunderbolts just as well as Gods. You don’t need to go to a military academy to learn how to stage a war like this. It is all in Homers Iliad and Odyssey. Do not take Bob on in single combat. It could end in a Sorab and Rustam disaster. I have only read that poem once and that must have been more than fifty years ago. When I think of it now and realize that it was a true story, it can still brings tears to my eyes.

Civilised communities have been selling squashed jungle berries since time immemorial. It used to be called “The Elixir of The Gods.” Homer must have far more information on the subject. If any readers of this publication are Classical Greek scholars or comedians, please suggest a name for the concoction which Bob calls ViaViente and I call Bob’s Junggle Juice.”

What effect did “The Elixir of the Gods.” have on the human body parts and the human brain’s pleasure centres? I can not wait to start reading Homer again. It is reputed to have increased a mortal’s life span if the mortal could scrounge some from the Mount Olympian Gods’s dining table. As the Gods spent a lot of their time in drunken stupors, that did happen on rare occasions. The swill probably helped the Gods to alleviate some of the worst damage caused from war wounds, hangovers and DTs. It may have eased physical pain in one way or another. I can not remember much about The Elixir. Start reading Homer lads and lasses. This is the ideal time to do some research which will keep the Krimm team on their toes for a long, long time.

What has stuck in my mind for fifty or more years is the effect that The Elixir had on the Mount Olympian Goddesses, when their male counterparts had swilled it by the gallon. Most of the Gods carried on drinking until they fell asleep under the table. The female immortals were left feeling a bit randy, so they lusted after mortal flesh. What could they do about that fantasy? Homer gives us the answer.

It was tradition in ancient Greece for the alpha males, (usually the conquering Generals) to strip naked and allow the maidens to bath them in public, usually in “The Market Place.” You can bet that there were a few randy Goddesses in the audience when that ritual was performed. Cartoonists take note. We must ply Stormy with Bob’s Jungle Juice. Wouldn’t you love to see her in the queue to enter his bathroom and offer her services to attend to his ablutions. If you have mistakenly assumed that I have collared a dirty word or expression, please look up the word ablutions in the dictionary?

I do not think Homer went into graphic details about the biology involved in human couplings but he does infer that it it happened or that one or either of the parties fantasised about the act. That thought inspired many of the World’s greatest artists to create wonderful paintings of mortal males and immortal females enjoying post prandial repose. If you can paint, this is a wonderful opportunity to conjure up the picture in your mind’s eye. That is a picture that you may be able to sell to the big man himself.

I would not advise any of my readers to get involved with any of the juice programs at present. Most of these Internet smoothies are made from Himalayan goji, blue berries, acacia, mangosteen or pomegranate. They are already on the shelves on British supermarkets. They are probably just as good as Bob’s Jungle Juice. They are certainly a lot cheaper. Ask a zookeeper to give a few bottles of all the competing brand names to a variety of his or her charges. Let the apes decide which is the best variety. Offer your vet a free bottle. He or she will be able to describe the health giving qualities in far more profession terms than Bob’s web designers. He or she will be able to tell you which of ingredient is most likely to be beneficial to the human primate. Do these drinks have any medicinal value substances or any natural ingredient which could be poisonous to a human primate, if it is consumed in large quantities. The vet probably knows more about this subject than your doctor as other primate species have been eating them for centuries..

It has been a very busy week and there are thing that need updating on these pages. Please forgive me if some of the links will not work. I will get them done as quickly as possible. As always.